These are Personal Updates from members over the years. It’s always good to see how others are doing now after they finally got used to their Empty Nest. If you have one of your own, even if you aren’t a member (but we’ve love to have you as one!) do feel free to email it to me so I can post it for others to read. <mailto:email@example.com>CLICK HERE.
UPDATE FROM “JENNY C.”
Hi Jeanine, guess this is long overdue. Get your Newsletter and keep meaning to send in my ‘update’ and forget! Well now I am sending it to you.
I go back several years and remember when I first came to your forum how sad I was that both of my kids had left the nest at the same time! (twins)
It was really hard for a long time but kept reading all the post from other members hoping for a ‘break through’ to getting through this time.
I think the girls were into their Jr. year before I actually started to realize that my/our life (hubby still in the picture) wasn’t really over we were just evolving into a newer one. One with more of an adult relationship with our kids.
They were both pretty good about staying in touch and visiting as often as they could so that helped a lot. Also we just kept ourselves busy doing things that we put off while they were at home, like traveling, taking up golf and bowling, etc. (Even though we had to litterly make ourselves to some of those things, for our own good!)
One day I do believe we sorta realized we were enjoying our life as a ‘couple’ again with the kids away. Not that we don’t miss them being home all the time but they have gotten into their own new lives now that they are out of school and working. We keep in touch (which helps a lot!) and try to have family get togethers whenever we are able.
All in all though I believe we have made it through this “Empty Nest” even though I thought it was horrible at first!
So to all of you out there having a hard time missing your kids , hang in there! It will hopefully get better for you soon.
Update from…..Enjoying My Life (Now)!
Ok, that didn’t use to be my ‘username’! It was “NotLikingMyEmptyNest”. I joined this forum many years ago, (it was the older one) out of desperation because I was really having trouble dealing with the last of the kids leaving home. I was back for a ‘visit’ and was reading some of the other updates from other members so thought I would add my own. 🙂 After all, this forum was a blessing, just knowing I wasn’t the only one feeling so down about all the kids leaving home. I mean that is what they are suppose to do, it just kind of hits you afterwards. You know, you think you are prepared but then realize that you aren’t!
We have four so you can image how busy it always was around the house with kids coming and going! Not to mention all of the school activities always going on,
I was also a stay at home mom, which I loved, even though money got tight at times. Our last two were twins so they left at the same time. All are through with schooling have jobs (yeah!) and are settled into their own lives now.
I admit it took a while, more like a couple years after the last ones left, to start to get use to our new way of life, “Empty Nesters” but we kept at it until we gradually started to realize that life wasn’t really ‘over’ for us, we were just starting a different one, without the kids around all the time.
I guess what I’m saying to all of you out there that are having a hard time coping is to hang in there, it will and does get better if you let it. I have to say that it is actually nice having an ‘adult’ relationship with the kids now. We try to visit as often as we can. The closes one is about an hour away and the longest distance is three hours, so not to bad.
Hang in there Moms and Dads!
Enjoying My Empty Nest…..by Misty Carrington
Ok, to be honest it wasn’t all smooth sailing in the beginning! We have three kids, two boys and a girl. After our daughter left (youngest) it was hard for a while. Just getting used to not having all the usual activities going on, the house seemed so quiet.
It was such a great joy watching the boys coming into “adulthood” and I knew the same would happen with our daughter. After all that is what we strive for? Helping them to grow into adults and making lives for themselves? (Although it seems like it happens way to fast!)
Meanwhile, I decided I needed to do something to get myself out of this funk I found myself in. I had always been a stay at home mom so my life pretty much revolved around the kids and their activities.
I took it a day at a time. Decided I would look into some hobbies or other activities that might interest me to keep me busy. I found that I liked to quilt so looked around and found some classes to take for that and managed to make a new friend or two so that helped. I also used to bowl and had ended up dropping out years ago, more then likely it had something to do with not having enough time to keep up with the weekly routine because of something going on with school “stuff”. I found a nice league to join one day a week and am finding that I really missed the game and the socializing as we usually end up going out to eat lunch.
Hubby and I have even managed to start traveling some here and there and that has been really nice. Hadn’t realized just how long it had been with just the two of us doing things like that. Always seemed to have kids around, not that we minded that, you just seem to fall into a routine over the years.
So that pretty much sums it up for me. Just find things to do, keep busy (yes, I know I heard that a LOT too, but it is sooooo true!) and after a while you’ll find out that you can have a life (and a happy one too) after the kids have all left the nest! I know I am truly enjoying mine now (ok, I do still miss having the kids around or rather the way it used to be) and you can too!
Hi Jeanine………..read your newsletter so am sending in my “Update” on how my nest has been the last few years. I first came to this site when you still had the older board several years back. Didn’t really post much but got a lot out of reading all the post/replies that were made over the years.
The past few years have been pretty good! We finally got use to the kids not being around much and started doing things together or on our own just to stay busy. It was hard for a while adjusting but if you stick with it things will get better. We did find that we had to make the effort a lot of times or you kind of just sit around wondering what to do next.
We have two kids, boy and girl. They don’t live real far away so that does help as we can keep in touch and visit now and then.
I can’t tell you how much this site helped me just knowing I wasn’t the only one feeling this way. So I just want to say hang in there folks, you can make it through this empty nest phase and find a life outside of the kids!
Dottie (aka “whatdoIdonow”)