Is
anger at an elderly age a
type of depression? I have
a close relative who is an
extremely talented writer
and brilliant intellect.
Suddenly with old age he
became hostile with his
family members, having no
desire to talk with them
at all. He was an
excellent father and
husband, too. When talking
with other people he
doesn't show any insanity
at all. His mind is as
brilliant as it was
before. The family is in
despair. Could it be a
type of depression? If
not, what it could be?
Anger
developed at any age is
anger. It could be a sign
of many things, from
frustration with
age-related decline to
longstanding lack of
impulse control to a kind
of general irritability
that is associated with
both depression and mild
forms of mania. Sometimes
anger results from brain
damage such as might occur
from a stroke. The
irascibility that is
sometimes seen in older
people probably has many
contributing
factors—losing powers or
becoming dependent on
others could do it for
some. An important one may
be general decline in
energy level; it takes a
certain amount of psychic
energy to keep one's
emotions in check, and who
better to let loose with
than family members.
However, that your
relative seems hostile
only with his family
members suggests that
something else is going
on. Perhaps Dad is ashamed
that he is not the
excellent father he once
was to his family; shame
often manifests as anger.
Perhaps something specific
has occurred to sour the
relationship. Do the
family members talk to him
in a childish or other
demeaning way? Have they
been holding discussions
about the will or personal
property without Dad's
consent? Have they pushed
him aside or left him out
of discussions on matters
in which he used to take
part? Maybe nothing has
happened but something or
someone has planted the
idea that his family is
betraying him in some way.
Perhaps he holds them
responsible for some
unpleasant event that
happened years ago. The
possibilities are almost
endless. The important
thing is that the air
needs to be cleared. Why
can't a trusted friend of
the family be called upon
as a mediator? The person
would need to sit down
with the family members
and get information from
them, and especially ask
what was going on around
the time the hostility
started. Then the friend
could sit down with Dad
and ask why he seems to be
so angry with them.
Telling him that his
family is hurting because
of his behavior might be
enough to stir his
compassion and shift his
behavior. Or the
conversation could reveal
a misunderstanding that
needs to be openly
discussed and cleared up.
Get going. You don't have
forever.