|
The Kids have all left the
nest (or just about?), the
house is empty and you’re
wondering what you’re going
to do with your time now.
Seems like it just
“happened” all of a sudden
for some while others knew
the time was near and
dreaded when the last child
(maybe even the first or
perhaps only?) left the nest
to head off to college or
whatever other plans they
may have made.
So many Moms (and yes, Dads
too!) have a difficult time
adjusting to this time even
though you know that this is
all part of ‘the plan’ from
the time they are born.
After all we did the same
thing didn’t we? Went off to
college, got a job and moved
out (eventually), or married
and started our own life.
And yet, it draws near and
you find yourself almost in
a panic wondering what you
are going to do with the
rest of your life!
You spend so much of your
time ‘doing’ for the kids
from the time they are born;
you find your life pretty
much revolves around theirs.
Even for a lot of the Moms
that have worked outside the
home for several years, it’s
pretty much the same. Get up
in the morning, get kids up
make breakfast, make sure
they’re ready for school, go
to work only to try and make
sure you get off in time to
make a ball game or other
school activities, (not to
mention the times they are
home sick from school!) your
life is still pretty much
revolving around the kids!
And even though, as
mentioned, you know this
time is coming, it’s kind of
hard to just shut all of
this down and go on with
what amounts to a “new
life”.
But, it’s here and now you
have to adjust and deal with
it! Much easier said then
done for some.
First off do give yourself a
BIG pat on the back; you
deserve it. You have raised
a child with the confidence
to go out and face that ‘big
wide world’ and now you need
to give yourself some
adjusting time. After all
it’s almost like a time of
“mourning” for some, you
feel like you have lost a
part of yourself, which, of
course, is NOT true. Now is
the time to find that “Old
You” or create a “New You”!
So many think their time as
“Mom” is over with, which is
also not true. It just
revolves into a different
phase. You’ll always be
their Mom, even though it
might feel at times that
they are shutting you out.
Remember, they are going
through their adjusting
period too! They settle down
after a while, you start
adjusting to their being out
of the house, then that more
“adult” relationship begins
which can be very rewarding
when you start seeing your
‘child’ becoming an adult.
Meanwhile, it’s time to
start thinking of you and
what you want to do with
this new phase of your life.
If you find yourself just
completely baffled at what
you can do, get a piece of
paper and pen and start
jotting down things you like
to do or things you use to
like or want to do when the
kids were small but didn’t
have time for. This may even
be a good time to jot down
some of the “new” projects
you’d like to try. You might
be surprised at how fast the
paper fills up.
Do you like to sew? Cook? Go
Fishing? Climb mountains? Do
crafts of any kind? Some are
really getting into Scrap
Booking right now. Been
thinking of getting a part
time (or full time) job?
Maybe if you’ve been working
you can change jobs or go
for that promotion?
Possibly, you’ve been
working and now want to
quit? LOL, the list could be
endless. It’s all about what
you want to do now. Some
Moms have even gone back to
school and earned degrees
and started all new careers.
Seems like whether we like
it or not, the kids grow up
and we have to move on with
our lives (they certainly
are!). Don’t you think it’s
what they would like to see
anyway, that we are
adjusting and moving on,
after all, we don’t really
want to make them feel
guilty for growing up, do
we? This time of our lives
can be what we make it, so
let’s make the best of it!
Remember also, that a lot of
us are starting to go
through Menopause at this
time of our lives, which
doesn’t exactly help (alas,
the trials of ‘womanhood’!).
So if you are really
experiencing a lot of
depression and finding it
hard to work though all of
this, don’t be afraid or shy
to talk to your family
doctor or minister. You may
even want to consider
professional counseling.
It’s certainly nothing to be
ashamed of. Think of your
health and well-being. Try
to make the most out of your
life and be happy and
content.
For those of you who would
like to communicate with
other moms going though this
“Empty Nest Phase” please
feel free to check out the
forum on Empty Nest Moms,
“Live After the Nest
Empties”. You’ll find you
really aren’t alone or
“going crazy” as some of the
members have put it, plus
you’ll receive lots of
support from those that know
almost exactly how you are
feeling!
You’ll find many topics to
choose from as we have moms
that are in different phases
of this Empty Nest, all
ready to jump in with
support and suggestions.
Don’t forget, “you’re always
going to be their Mom!”
Jeanine Herrin
Empty Nest Moms:
www.emptynestmoms.com
Be sure to visit the new
Empty Nest “On-Line”
Magazine:
www.emptynestmagazine.com
|
