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Personal
Stories & Poems
(both
Inspirational,
Humorous & some straight
from the Heart)
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Stories Click
Here
So,
I moved my youngest
daughter permanently to
Lubbock last week-end.
Though she went last year,
she was in a dorm and I
knew it was temporary and
she'd be "home"
for the summer. I
missed her then, but this
year she's gotten an
apartment and will stay
there permanently. Five
hours away. No coming
"home" for the
summer. She's gone.
Moved out. When I
passed her empty bedroom
this morning, the
"empty nest
syndrome" that I
always "poo-pooed"...hit
me like a tsunami.
UH-OH.
I
get it.
Whaaaaaa!!
My babies are grown. All
those years of taking care
of them, worrying about
them, scheduling for them,
basically living my whole
life for, and around,
them...over.
Who am I now-what am I?
Why is this house so big,
why do I need 4 bdrms and
a yard ??
Is it worse because I am,
after all, totally,
completely, and
utterly...ALONE?? Do I
sell the house, get a
little apartment, a bunch
of cats, and live out my
life now...alone? The
pitiful person that
everyone invites-,
"Don't forget to
invite ---, after all, her
kids are grown and she has
NO-ONE."
How did I get here?
The house used to be
jammed full of kids,
husband(s) (lol), and a
constant flow of friends.
I used to beg for
"me" time.
Back then "me
time" consisted of
moments in the tub, with
the door locked, to keep
them out and catch my
breath. Still, they'd poke
their little noses under
the door,
asking this, that, and
when I was getting out.
I'd roll my eyes and dream
of the day I could take a
simple bath again, without
being interrupted.
The fact that my first
child was a
"surprise" when
I was only 19, I always
kind of felt like I was
robbed of those carefree,
independent years. I
thought I'd revel in the
new freedom I'd have after
my last went off to
school.
That day is here.
It's quiet. It's peaceful.
I can sit on the couch,
eat Chee-tos for dinner,
watch tv
uninterrupted, and not do
a darn thing for anyone.
Whaaaaaa!
Why aren't I celebrating??
I couldn't wait for this
time! Why is it that we
always want what we don't
have?
While I expected to feel
sentimental, it's a shock
to
experience the depth of
loss that hit me today. I
know I'll be okay, and
it'll be great. But
today...I want my big,
fat, noisy, full house
again.
Now, to the Chili's
resturaunt tune, let's all
sing...I want my babies-
back, babies back, babies
back...
Back
to Top
The
Day After- More Confessions
of a New EN
Okay, wrote the last letter
before I'd fully read this
wonderful website. Now,
under the umbrella of
"we're not crazy",
I feel comfortable enough
for a confession.
It's Monday, the day after
moving her to college, and I
left to run one errand
before buckling down to
work. Saw her empty room,
(which I somehow missed
while packing up the car),
and stopped dead in my
tracks. It was almost as
though I needed time to
process it, because the
oddity struck me more than
the sadness. Until I got in
the car.
While driving, I kept
thinking, "Wow,that's
just
so weird. Her room is
bare". Then, I heard a
song with the lyrics "
I think about you, 8yrs old,
big blue eyes and a heart of
gold..." and the true
meltdown came.
If you're like me, you don't
ever have time to cry.
So, when I do, I'm going to
make
it count! Sometimes I
think of everything I could
possibly mourn and lump it
all together, because I
know, I won't get this
chance again!
Well, strange thing was, I
couldn't stop. After ten
minutes I was, like,
"okay, that should do
it". Nope. Ten minutes
of tears again. "Alrighty,
let's wrap this up."
Apparently not. The tears
kept coming.
In the midst of my crying
jag, I decided my house is
way too big, and I simply
have to sell it,
immediately. Passing new
town homes, I whipped the
car in, into one of the
finished, but empty homes.
As I was still sniffling,
builder came in right behind
me. Did I mention he is a
hot, young builder? And I'm
single? No makeup, red eyes.
He asked if he could
help me. I proceeded to
explain how I was completely
alone in this world now,
while weeping the entire
time. Pa-thetic.
He looked at me with a
mixture of pity, curiosity,
and FEAR!
Following that debacle, I
bought fast food I couldn't
eat,(which actually cheered
me up) and then simply
"blew off" working
today.(Not
recommending that part, I
have the luxury of being
self-employed.) I figure I'm
entitled to have my day.
Have earned it, and by
golly, I'm going to enjoy
it!
Work can wait. Today, I'm
enjoying your website,
dusting out the nest, crying
over the loss, and, after my
cathartic day, planning a
bright future.
Thank you for this!
Back
to Top
I
graduated high school in
1964, went to work and
immediately fell in love.
That tingling sensation,
heart throbbing,
butterflies in the
stomach, knees shaking
kind of love that only
happens once in a
lifetime. We dated,
got married and proceeded
to mold a life together.
A life that would
mean a move from NJ to FL
and would bring 4 children
into this world.
I
loved being a wife/mother
and staying home
to keep those fires
burning. Being a mom
is the best job I ever
had! I imagined
growing old with my
husband, raising our
children together,
enjoying grandchildren and
spending lots of quality
time
together in our golden
years. Don't let
anyone tell
you those 'golden' years
come with age; they are
the years when your
children are young and you
are embraced by their
lives and your own!
Well, obviously, that did
not happen and after 22
years of marriage we got
divorced. One child
in college, one in high
school and 2 in elementary
school. Suddenly I
had to find a job!
Not an
easy task when you have
been a 'mom' for all those
years but I did. I
have worked ever since. Customer
Service is my forte.
I am currently working in
a medical office with 5
doctors and I really do
enjoy it; I have to since
I will be working until I
die, literally! I am
not the wisest when it
comes to saving and
planning ahead, so
there is no retirement
fund and SS just won't
cover it!
As I prepare for my
daughter's wedding this
fall
I look back only with fond
memories of what my
children and I have
shared. I sometimes
wish that I could find
enough money to pay off my
debt and live comfortably
but I am by far the
richest
woman I know.
My
wealth lies in my children
and in their children.
We have a very warm,
loving relationship; we
are very close and believe
me, they take care of me.
God has truly blessed many
times over.
I miss my daughter now
that she has moved but I
know that she is ready and
I ask only that God bless
her and her fiance with
good health, happiness,
love for each other and
the understanding to know
that life is a roller
coaster, it has its ups
and downs but if love
prevails you can get
through anything.
My plan now is to
eventually move a bit
further south to NE
Tennessee. I will
not give up my mountains
or seasons!! The
move would
bring me closer to all my
family and the lifestyle
that I have witnessed in
TN is absolutely
wonderful.
The other day I heard that
the majority of women in
this country prefer big
screen plasma TV's over
diamonds; well, I am a bit
odd I guess, but you can
keep your plasma TV's and
diamonds; I sometimes
dream of having a log
cabin in the woods and to
be able to share my hopes
and dreams with someone
special. Now that
may never happen but
no one can ever divorce me
from my dreams.
I am basically content
with my life but I sure
would like to enjoy the
company of others.
Most of the females I work
with are either very young
or have significant others
and so it is hard to
socialize at all. I
will be fulfilling one
dream soon which is to go
horseback riding. I
used to love to do that
and I can't wait to
expericence it again, even
though I know that I will
pay for it with aches and
pains, but it is a good
feeling to know that you
can make some of your
dreams a reality.
I am not exempt from
depression, I just do not
allow it in my life and
the few times it has come
into my life it has been
devastating.
Depression saps
the strength right out of
you, it takes away every
desire you have to be
strong, to live and to
love. So, when I
feel it coming on I only
allow it for a very short
while and then I look
around at the wonderful
gifts that God has
provided and I
stare depression in the
face and knock her down!
I
am not a 'deeply'
religious person in that I
don't attend church
services(too many
hyocrites) but I do
converse with God and I
marvel at the beauty
that He has provided in
this world. I see
Him in every forest,
mountain, stream, ocean,
the sky and all his little
creatures that try so
desparately to survive
with us humans! I
suppose you
have guessed that I love
nature, camping, hiking
and just listening to
nature without the sound
of traffic
or people.
I
am saddened at how
destructive we are with
our natural
surroundings.When I was a
little girl I
always wanted to grow up
to be a 'mommy' and that
dream did come true.
I will not reflect on the
sadness or pain in my life
because the good, the
happiness and the love
that I have experienced
far outweighs them.
Life is beautiful,
wonderful and
should be lived every
second of every day.
My adopted motto was taken
from a country song:
"Live Like You Were
Dying", and believe
me I
try to!
Back
to Top
My
baby girls is leaving for
AZ. to meet her father
that abandoned her 17
years ago.
As I watch my 18 year old
child make it thru
security and she gets
smaller and smaller the
further away she walks. I
say a little prayer asking
God to put extra angels on
the plane with
her.
As tears fill my eyes I
feel as though something
heavy is on my chest.
I start to feel the eyes
of others staring at me so
I turn to go to my car.
All of a sudden all I can
think about is all the
things I should have
taught her, I should have
reminded
her, and should have done.
My head is in such a spin
I begin to get a headache.
All I could think to ease
some suffering is try to
ask God to help me thru
this and listen to some
soothing music for the
hour drive back.
My daughter finally calls
to say he's not at the
airport to pick her up. In
my rage all I can thinks
is that jerk. But then I
thought to say where are
you? and just as I thought
she just got off the plane
and she thought he would
be standing there like in
the movies. I told
he to go to the baggage
claim and look for him
there. As she's walking
that way she says
something happen at the
layover in Dallas.
I said on the edge of my
seat what? What
happen, tell me now. she
said I was getting some
hot
tea and the guy dropped it
on my hand and it started
to blister my hand, she
said she had to get on the
plane so she couldn't deal
with it but it hurt to
even move it so she
couldn't listen to her new
MP 3 player. Then
she said this old lady sat
down beside her and
started to talk to her and
noticed her hand.
The lady rang for the
Sturdiest for some first
aid help. They
brought her ice and she
felt better. Knowing my
daughter wouldn't ask for
help or make a scene I had
to Thank GOD for sending
that angel to watch over
my baby.
Back
to Top
Do you have
something that stands out in
your mind? Maybe a really
great trip with the
family / kids / husband or
friend? A certain time of
your life that might have
had an impact on you. Maybe
you know of someone who has
touched your life in some
way? Please feel free to
submit a "Personal" story of
your own to:
emptynestmomsite@bellsouth.net
with "Personal Story" in the
subject line. We'd love to
read it!
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