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My mother taught me
LOGIC.
"Because I said so, that's why." |
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My Mother taught me
MEDICINE...
"If you don't stop crossing your eyes, they're going to freeze that way." |
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My Mother taught me
TO THINK AHEAD...
"If you don't pass your spelling test, you'll never get a good job!" |
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My Mother taught me
ESP...
"Put your sweater on; don't you think that I know when you're cold?" |
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My Mother taught me
TO MEET A CHALLENGE...
"What were you thinking? Answer me when I talk to you...Don't talk back to me!" |
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My Mother taught me
HUMOR...
"When that lawn mower cuts off your toes, don't come running to me." |
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My Mother taught me how to
BECOME AN ADULT...
"If you don't eat your vegetables, you'll never grow up. |
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My mother taught me
ABOUT SEX...
"How do you think you got here?" |
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My mother taught me about
GENETICS...
"You are just like your father!" |
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My mother taught me about my
ROOTS...
"Do you think you were born in a barn?" |
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My mother taught me about the
WISDOM of AGE...
"When you get to be my age, you will understand." |
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My mother taught me about
ANTICIPATION...
"Just wait until your father gets home." |
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My mother taught me about
RECEIVING...
"You are going to get it when we get home." |
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And, my all-time favorite -
JUSTICE
"One day you'll have kids, and I hope they turn out just like YOU...then you'll see what it's like." |
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My mother taught me
TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE.
"If you're going to kill each other, do it outside - I just finished cleaning!" |
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My mother taught me
RELIGION.
"You better pray that will come out of the carpet." |
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My mother taught me about
TIME TRAVEL.
"If you don't straighten up, I'm going to knock you into the middle of next week!" |
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My mother taught me
FORESIGHT.
"Make sure you wear clean underwear, in case you're in an accident." |
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My mother taught me
IRONY.
"Keep laughing and I'll *give* you something to cry about." |
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My mother taught me about the science of
OSMOSIS.
"Shut your mouth and eat your supper!" |
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My mother taught me about
CONTORTIONISM.
"Will you *look* at the dirt on the back of your neck!" |
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My mother taught me about
STAMINA.
"You'll sit there 'til all that spinach is gone." |
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My mother taught me about
WEATHER.
"It looks as if a tornado swept through your room. |
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My mother taught me how to solve
PHYSICS PROBLEMS.
"If I yelled because I saw a meteor coming toward you; would you listen then?" |
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My mother taught me about
HYPOCRISY.
"If I've told you once, I've told you a million times - Don't exaggerate!!!" |
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My mother taught me
THE CIRCLE OF LIFE.
"I brought you into this world, and I can take you out." |
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My mother taught me about
BEHAVIOR MODIFICATION.
"Stop acting like your father!" |
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My mother taught me about
ENVY.
"There are millions of less fortunate children in this world who don't have wonderful parents like you do!" |
